"some of ya'll with declining mental health can relate...that feeling when you know you're going crazy and there's nothing you can do about it and it feels like your head is going to explode like for real...yeah that feeling is wack."
"i don't know if you can relate but one of the reasons for feeling like the tweet above is me thinking about how long my mental health has been declining (4 years) and how it has never gotten better even by just a bit. and i start to imagine how much worse it's going to get."
"and i start to reallyyyy think and wonder if that's why people take their own lives. because that's it right? like mental health declines and declines and declines. and what's next? there's no clawing your way out of that shit."
"i think what i really need right now (besides a damn therapist) is someone who's been at their absolute worst mental state (except it gets worse than worst) who somehow clawed their way up into sanity. whoever you may be, please tell me. please tell me there's a way out."
this was a thread i posted on twitter on 2nd september 2019. one year on and my reply to that thread is: mental health is a joke. quit trying. there is no way out. life is a simulation. currently waiting for the next simulation.
but for real though, within a few weeks from that twitter thread, a friend who i confided in, who knew my darkest demons, who always calmed me down, took her own life. and you're telling me there's a way out? fuck outta here, bro. this isn't me being negative or pessimistic. this is me accepting the truth. for real, i'm just waiting to go home one of these days, man. i'll be home sooooooooooon.
