This is how a heart breaks.

18/10/15 
23:50

Let's get this over and done with. You're me. It's the middle of October, and you're on Twitter. You lurk around and see things you wish you had the superpower to forget. One video. 13 seconds. That's all it takes to break the already disintegrated pieces of whats left of what you call a "heart."

Though contradictory, your heart doesn't crash. Instead, the hurt starts deep within the walls of your stomach. You feel it fill up with a putrid acid that somehow manages to seep into your bloodstream and blends perfectly with the chemical structure of your favourite friend, C₁₇H₂₁NO_4. Cocaine floods your brain with dopamine, the compound responsible for pleasure. Fucking amazing, I know.

Now, all you can feel is infinite pleasure mixed with infinite poison, slowly trying to kiss all 60,000 miles that make up your circulatory system.

Give or take a few seconds, the mixture reaches your heart. You feel your heart wear it like a suit. Think Venom, the antagonist in Spiderman. But I digress. 

Once again, I am obliged to be contradictory. A heartbreak doesn't cause your heart to break. It dissolves. That's what it feels like. It dissolves. Evaporates. Dissipates. You feel it shrink. It gets harder to breathe. You can't think straight. You do more powder. You wish it was breaking instead because at least a broken heart's fixable.

But a dissolving heart? How the fuck?

At the end of all this, I might will have everything nothing. I'm sorry to the future. I'm sorry November, December and the immeasurable amount of days ahead. I'm sorry to the people I'm going to push away. 

Give me some time, and I promise I'll fix this broken dissolving heart.