10 things I am afraid of.

1. Cockroaches.

Holy-fucking-shit, need I say more? Those creatures from hell disgust the living crap out of me. I mean, what purpose do they have on our planet? I know, I know, every creature has it's role to play in our environment but cockroaches and their hairy legs are just eww. I don't care if I sound feminine or anything, but these demons will keep me up all night if they're around me.

2. Heights

I don't know, ever since I was young, standing at the edge of a balcony gave me such a calm fright. I know it's an oxymoron but I was so afraid of falling that it made me want to find out what it was like to fall. Get what I mean? I'm afraid of falling, but I actually do want to fall. But because death would be probable, I choose to be safe and stand behind railings. Maybe that's why I've always wanted to parachute or skydive. I've always wanted to experience free fall, you know? It's so confusing for me.

3. Breaking up

I have never actually gone through a real heart-breaking, sorrow-filled, pain-stricken breakup, and I never want to imagine or go through something like that. Being such a fragile person, my poor little heart would not be able to take something like that. Being in a relationship like the one I am in now, it's hard to see myself away from my significant other. Just thinking of her being with someone else makes my mind fucking insane. I would not know what to do if it actually happened. Cross my fingers it doesn't happen. Ever. 

4. Talking to people

I know I say I'm shy, but you might not think so because I try my best to be a fun-loving motherfucker who enjoys people's company, which I do! Apparently, people think I'm one of the least awkward people they've ever met and they say I can deal with awkward situations perfectly fine. But the real problem stems from the way I talk. I am afraid of talking to people because I stutter a lot when I'm nervous, and it's fucking retarded. Also, I have such a high-pitched voice for a guy. I'm not going to get into both, but yeah, just know that I stutter and I have a high voice. Put both together and you have a walking retard - me.

5. Sharp objects

Ever since young, I've been afraid of sharp objects like knives and razors. I'm not sure where it stemmed from but I do recall being stabbed and cut many times. In preschool, a classmate stabbed me in the ear with a pencil, could've gone deaf in one ear. In primary school, I was stabbed in the knee with a pencil, which left a mark, kinda cool actually. Ask me about it if we ever meet. I sliced my finger while cutting chocolate once. And also basically I never want to ever experience being stabbed. Probably one of the worst ways to die, can you imagine? Being stabbed, left with an open wound and left to bleed to death. It's worse than it sounds. So yeah, sharp objects scare the shit out of me.

6. Being rejected

I mean, come on, who isn't?

7. Not being good enough

There's a possibility you might fall for someone else, so the fear is always there.

8. Change

I've dedicated a post to this before. Go find it, and go read it. Please?

9. Deep waters

Oh my goodness, can you imagine what kind of weird ass shit lives underwater? Sea creatures from the depths of hell, is the answer! I'm not afraid of swimming or anything like that, but even when I'm on a boat, deep water scares me. I'm not talking about deep pools and shit. I'm talking about open waters like in Life of Pi (which is, by the way, an amazing movie which you should catch). Open waters. Deep open waters. It's so deep that it's dark. So dark that you can barely see the surface. That type of deep. What the hell is beneath this vast blanket of dark blue? I mean, what if I put my leg into the water and some giant ass motherfucking weird creature grabs my leg and pulls my 300km into the water? What the fucking fuck, right?

10. Being scolded by teachers

Not really afraid of the punishment, it's just that I hate making them feel disappointed. I'm afraid of being a disappointment. A boy with so much promise and potential, and suddenly, I screw up and cannot be trusted. Wondering who? It's Miss Lam, I'm so afraid of disappointing her. She is just so nice and caring, I just want to give her a lifetime supply of cookies for her effort. Shall not get into it, but yeah basically I'm afraid of being scolded by teachers because I don't want to be a failure in their eyes.

That's it for now. See you in a bit. 

P.S don't mind the gif at the top. I know my gifs are always related to the post, but I was too lazy to find one relatable. But yeah it's from Juno, which is another great movie you should catch. Also, P.S means postscript which is writing added after the main body of a letter. Just for your info. Ok bye.