Project suicide.

You're probably thinking:

"I don't know what to say or where to start. I fucking hate everything right now. I feel like absolute and proper manure and I'm headed straight down the drain. If I could sum my feelings up in a movie, it'd be me sobbing incessantly throughout the movie, with the ending taking a tragic (not really) twist with me drowning in my own tears, filled with sorrow and despair. I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. No. Don't. Come here, I need a hug and a nice pat on the back. And some ice cream to go with that pat. No, not anymore, I hate everything and I want to be alone." 

What causes these inconsistent feelings? Maybe everything stems from disappointment. When your expectations are high, and consequently not met, the seeds of anger, sadness, and sheer disappointment starts growing like a seed deep within the corners of your mind, growing throughout your body like a virus. Pretty soon, it starts to fill your throat and you choke on your own disappointments. 

I know, it's hard to stay or even be motivated when everything you love, becomes everything you hate. I am here to assure you that though disappointments are fucking bummers, thankfully and hopefully, it's just a phase and a passing mood. Like clouds on rainy days, it will pass. There is plenty to be thankful for. If you live life being disappointed at the world around you, you only end up disappointing yourself. Don't worry, someone up there, some kind of higher authority (God) has a master plan for you. I don't know much about life but I do know that it's complicated and it's filled with grey areas everywhere. In a world filled with infinite possibilities, my life isn't perfect, neither is yours. Thank God for fucked up, messy, beautiful, surprising, exciting and ultimately, fucking complex lives. Everyone belongs somewhere. Be your results amazing or average, God has a plan for you and unlike you or me, it's perfect.