This is not a post about me, neither is it about God. This is a post about my relationship with God. You know what I fucking hate? I hate people who look down on me as a believer of my religion just because I have done things prohibited by Islam. Just because you pray and I pierce, doesn't make you a better Muslim than I am. Just because you fast and I fuck, doesn't make you a better Muslim than I am.
To a certain extent, it does. But not with an attitude like yours. An attitude that thinks that you can do all the bad and wrong in the world, and be forgiven just by praying. Going to a mosque does not make you a Muslim as much as going to a garage makes you a car. I consider myself a strong and firm believer of Islam. The only thing lacking is practise. I am not a practising Muslim, but every word of God and His preachers, I believe. Does that make me a bad Muslim? Fucking no. At least I have accepted what I have done and am trying to repent. I am better than you. I am better than a sinner who thinks he's forgiven through routine prayers.
So what I don't pray? I believe God sees my intentions and that I mean well. Just because I don't pray doesn't mean I don't love God. I do. With all my heart. No one fucking believes me because I don't show it outside, I show it inside my heart and inside my head. I once read that the main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. When you're too religious, you tend to point your finger to judge instead of extending your hand to help. You are the accuser and I am the victim. You are too religious for your own fucking good, and I am not religious enough to you. You know what, there's no such thing as not religious enough and I don't live to please you. I live to please my Creator. And as long as I know He's happy with me, I'll be happy with whatever the fuck I do, be it sin or deed.
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