10 things that annoy me on Twitter.

 

Good evening, everyone. Apologies for being absent recently, for I have been busy with school and such. Today, I shall shy away from the usual content-based topics and write about something much closer to our hearts, or fingers rather. Twitter. A platform where we broadcast our daily activities as if our followers give two shits. I shall not further explain what Twitter is and direct your attention to the post proper. These are the top 10 things that annoy me on Twitter.

1. Retweet whores

"Retweet this if you're breathing air." Sorry, but I am a 4000-year old corpse and I can't breathe so, fuck you. Stop being desperate. 

2. Religious advertisers 

"Retweet for Islam. Favourite for Christianity." No. You do not advertise religion like it's some kind of product. You preach it, not purchase it.

3. Excessive/unnecessary hashtags

#How #does #it #feel #reading #this? It's okay if you do it once in a while, but hashtagging every tweet? No, just no. Oh, and don't you just love #ridiculouslylonghashtagswhicharesuperhardtoread?

4. F4F/#teamfollowback

"Followed. Follow back please?" No, this is a free world and I do whatever the hell I want to do. And following you is not in that list, so fuck off.

5. Ridiculous twitcons

When I say 'ridiculous', I don't mean the Twitter egg. I love that. It's the epitome of Twitter after all, isn't it? I'm talking about cats, cars, or Christ Himself. It's fine if you do that, only if you're Puss in Boots, a Transformer or Jesus Christ. 

6. Follow-unfollow-follow-unfollow

What. is. your. logic. behind. doing. this? 

7. Fucking stupid names

I'm not talking about your username, I'm talking about your name on Twitter. Especially those who set their names as their birth dates. Fucking attention whores.

8. Too much information

Not that I don't like your tweets, but I don't really give a damn if you took a shit 3 minutes ago.

9. Advertisers

Those accounts that do nothing but spam advertisements. In response to their tweets, I would like to thank them for the free viruses. Cunts.

10. Instagram/Foursquare

Ahh, how could I not forget? Please don't tweet 58 pictures of your dog, what you ate for lunch and what you're doing in school. One or two is more than enough. And to those who keep on checking in on Foursquare, are you not afraid that some weird stalker might just come up behind you and have some surprise butt sex? The next time you think about checking in everywhere ago, think about this post.

And that, my friends, concludes this post. I'll see you around.